write a poem about something you love.

i had an english assignment on this. I guess all of you know i would probably write about him which is true I guess. so here goes nothing...

I hate how you talk to me

and the way you shaved your head.

I hate how you make me laugh 

even when I'm sad.

I hate the way you dress yourself

because I can't stop looking. 

I hate how you're always right 

even when you're not trying.

I hate when you're not around

and not even call.

I hate the way you make me smile

even when I bawl.

But most of all I hate how

I can't hate you at all.

Not even close

Not even a bit

Not even remotely at all

I never thought how much you would mean to me when I first met you, and honestly, i would have rather not.

It's so hard just thinking about the 'what-ifs'

What if he rejected me?

What if I die tomorrow?

What if he dies tomorrow?

What if I never get to tell him that I love him?

What if he loves me too?

What if 

What if 

What if

But honestly speaking, what are 'what-ifs' if all you're going to do is just think about and worry about it? 

Why not take the first step and go ahead with it?

Instead of worrying about what if he rejects you, think about what if you guys had a future together and start working on that confession because you never know when either or you are going to go.

Instead of worrying about the 'never', think about the 'ever'. Tell him that you love him today and you might be with him forever.

Instead of worrying about if he loves you back, be courageous and tell him. Because you only live once.

It is definitely funny how I can't do it myself. But wait, just hold on. It's not because Idw to. It's because it isn't the right time. 

I will, in time to come. And hopefully, I will be able to win him over. But for now, I just want to make him comfortable. Because big plans are coming(:

The quote for today, 

"To get something you never had,

You have to do something you never did."

Hugs and kisses

Happy July

I'll talk when I want to.

Writing a post partly cos my friend wanted me to. Happy Edna?

Fights. Betrayals. Backstabbing. 

Why do all of them happen?

One simple reason, insecurities.

Insecurities causes you to doubt yourself, hence you feel the need to pull people down so you don't look that bad.

But all of these problems are like math sums, they are long and you really have to work them out until the last part then you find out that it is wrong. But Edna said, but when you go back and work it out right, in the end the ans will still be correct.

But what if you don't want the ans to be correct. What if I'm so sick and tired of nonsense. What if I just want a simple life. I just want a couple of friends who I can count on when I'm breaking down. I just want a couple of friends that understand me.

My friends have been trying to get me to talk to someone I fought with again. But they don't understand. Nobody will understand unless they been through exactly how I did and even then some might be wrong as well.

I understand that she is still friends with my friends so what? I don't have/want to have control over my friends' life right? I mean they can make any friends they want. But if that is the case, wouldnt my friends have to respect my decision as well?

I'm not good at expressing myself with words. I can't apologise face to face. I just can't put my words strong enough to express the feelings I want it to mean. 

Don't judge me for getting angry at her for such an incident because you don't know what my life has been like. 

and trust me, you def won't want to go there.