Death

Death.

What does it feel like?
Is it darkness that holds nothing else but peace?
Is it silence that makes you relieve?

I know it is a bit too early. My life has barely begun and Im thinking about this. Let me get this straight, I am not suicidal. I just.. Think about it. All of us have a lot of fears. But I guess all our common fear is death. If someone insists they are not afraid, they must have not been on the brink of their death bed.

I, for one, have definitely not been there, hopefully I wont be for awhile. But I have always thought about how I would leave this world. Cancer? Accident? Old age? What other reasons are there? Suicide is definitely off my list considering the fact that I am a Christian and I believe when it is time, God will bring me back to him.

When my troubles get to me, all I yearn for is some time alone, complete darkness and silence. Then I can listen to my own heartbeat, listen to my own mind. Make my own choices. So I guess, it is similar to being dead, just for a few minutes.

I haven't exactly seen someone take their last breath before leaving this world to join Him at home. Is it suppose to be a blink of relieve? That they are finally going home to Our Father? Is it suppose to be a shot of gratefulness? That they are finally leaving this tearful place we call earth?

In anyways, earth is only a temporary place for us to live in. Death is something everyone has to consider, no matter what. We don't all worry about it because to us, younger people, we think that we won't die so young. Accidents to us don't exist. But it does. We never know what is going to happen tomorrow. Today might be the last day you see the person next to you. Because you never know when he/she is going off. You might wake up to a call, realising that someone who means the most to you has alrd left.

To side track a little, is the only time a person is considered dead the time they stop breathing and their heart stops beating? To me, a person is considered dead when he or she stops caring. Let me explain it further. The entire point of living is to explore yourself as a person and explore the world out there. Many of us would also think that the entire point of living is exploring love. When you get hurt enough, regardless by whatever, you feel like you are suffocating in the misery. You cant breathe. You feel like you are drowning in a sea of tears. Click. And then you flip the switch. You stop caring. Stop wishing he would call. You stop dressing yourself up. You stop trying to impress.

You. Just. Stop.

That is when you are dead.
Actually this is worse than death. Death brings you peace, a sigh of relieve that all your tough life is finally gone. You finally don't have to please anyone on purpose anymore. But this. Its like you are a breathing corpse. You live and walk. You breathe and eat, but you no longer smile. You don't trust. You simply Do Not Care.

I guess that is why some people commit suicide. Because at one point in time, they simply cant take society anymore. They simply do not have enough to count on. They simply cant find the reason to live and death seems like a simpler choice.

Yes. Death provides you with so many things living can't. But, because living is tough. The journey is rough. That's why along the way you make friends and so many memories. Treasure them. Because those are the people who are going to get you through your life.

Live a good life.
So that eventually when you return to being an angel, you will be remembered.
Death isn't a scary thing. It reminds you to live. To live life to the fullest.

"Nobody said it was going to be easy."